1. Knife Fighting: A Practical Course
Published
2. Ninja Home Study Course
Published
3. Gun Concealment Underwear
Published, but with their own text. Original text below.
The Only Possible Outcome: Being arrested
Well, this one is for all you gym rats out there who are tired of yo 9 and yo documents stickin out of yo lame ass boxer shorts. It's also good for the sweatpants crowd who are tired of less comfortable ass holsters. Finally, you can conceal your gun in your sweatpants and not worry about it falling out and shooting yourself in the ass. Because, you know what? If you are going to conceal a deadly weapon in your ass, make it comfortable dammit.
4. Close Range Bear Survival Kit from Smith & Wesson
Publsihed
5. The Secret Art of Stunt Driving - All the insider tricks of driving at the edge
Published
6. Under the Gun: Gun Disarming Tactics for the Street
Published
7. Beginner's Guide to Catching Monster Sharks
Published
8. Mantrapping
Excerpt From the seller:
Product Description
This is the first book ever published to explain how to capture that most dangerous animal: man. Based on Ragnar's own mantrapping experiences while on special assignments in Asia, Africa, North and South America and Cuba, this gut-wrenching book covers such mantraps as the Malaysian Hawk, the Andes Mountain Trail Trap, the Sheepeater's Rock Fall and the Cuban Water Trap. To know how to trap your enemy is to know how to avoid being trapped yourself. For academic study only.
The only possible outcome: Killing someone
The good news that if you buy this book, you will know how to avoid being trapped yourself. Of course the book can only really tell you how to avoid the traps its knows about. So it's only really helpful to avoid traps if you are avoiding the traps of someone else who bought this particular book. But if someone ever tries to get you in a Cuban Water Trap, you'll be able to identify it and avoid it. It's also extremely convenient that it lists the names of the traps it covers in the description for all those who are looking specifically for a book that covers the Malaysian Hawk and the Sheepeater's Rock Fall. Seriously though, the book teaches you how to capture hikers and campers and put them in death traps like on Saw or do what Rambo did to all of Vietnam.
The only practical application of this book we could think of was this:
Of course, if you are building traps for the predator in the jungle, you better hope you have more than a book. You'll need at least a bow made of things found in the jungle, which is not included in this book.
9. Beginner's Guide to Keeping Venomous Snakes.
Excerpt From the seller:
Product Description
Complete guide to keeping venomous snakes. Covers housing, security, snake hooks, pinning sticks, tubing, snake shields, catchboxes, bagging sticks, and more. Special section on snakebite.
The only possible outcome: Death or amputation of infected limb
Our translation of the product description: "How to pretty much contain, build sticks to poke at and agitate, put in bags, and hook venomous snakes for amusement purposes and what to do when they eventually bite you."
Nothing like a book on an ultrahazardous hobby for beginners that contains a special section on what to do when everything they teach you goes the way all your friends told you it would go.
10. Explosives Detection Field Test Kit - DropEx Plus
Published
11. Homemade Sport Submarine Kit
Excerpt From the seller:
SportSubs are now available as kits, making owning your own submarine affordable enough that it can finally become a reality!
To keep the cost low and retain its seat-of-the-pants attitude, SportSub kits come standard with only the key necessities; the Fly-By-Wire Joystick, Electronic Buoyancy Control, and Electrical Systems Monitor, and of course, they are unassembled.
The idea was to offer a kit that wasn't too difficult to build, and yet would be affordable.
The Only Possible Outcome: Death or the Bends.
If you have ever put together furniture from Ikea, then you will understand how someone could naturally come up with the idea of a build-at-home submarine kit.
Aside from inviting people to explore the depths of the ocean in a submarine that you drilled together yourself and hauled to the beach in the back of your pickup truck, there are opportunities for critical error that go beyond wondering why you have 3 extra hex nuts left over after you've finished drilling it together.
Exploring the bottom of the ocean in a submarine you build yourself is the closest thing to going into space in a homemade space shuttle that we have right now. Except there are no giant squid in space. You configure and install the air tanks yourself. You install the air regulators, the ballast system, the computer controls, the sonar, the computer navigation, and the guidance system yourself.
Luckily though, the plans do call for an escape hatch. Then you only have to worry about being stranded in the middle of the ocean and making sure the backup up system (that you installed yourself) works properly.
12. Heroin User's Handbook
Published, but with different text. Original text below.
From the seller:
There is so much misinformation about heroin that it is important to confront the myths right away. This misinformation causes unnecessary pain throughout society. It kills people and destroys the lives of many more than the users themselves.
"Mom, I'm getting to be that age and I want to start doing heroin."
"Ok, but make sure you get all the facts straight first because page 1 of this book I want you to read says that misinformation about heroin can not only kill you, but it could destroy my life as well. So, we are begging you to please confront the myths right away."
13. DIY Hot Air Balloon Kit
Excerpt From the Seller:
Experimental Balloon Building
Warning! Materials and ideas listed here are in part unproven and may be hazardous to use in the construction and operation of experimental hot air balloons and airships. Building and flying experimental aircraft involves significant risk and may lead to serious injury or death. Always obtain professional advice when building or flying human-carrying balloons and airships!
A very complete 90 page Information Kit is available for US$18 ($20 overseas). The brochure contains details about the whole line of plans and kits for Boland hot air balloons from 15'000 till over 100'000 cubic feet of volume, and it is also a good starting point for any homebuilt aerostatic endeavour.
Naturally, this is the type of thing you would see a disclaimer on. Well, here is the disclaimer from the people selling you a Do It Yourself Hot Air Balloon Kit:
http://www.proaxis.com/~bobledoux/
http://www.proaxis.com/~bobledoux/Issue22.pdf
Balloon Builders Journal CD Conditions of Sale
A warning to readers: You must assume all risk associated for the application of information contained on this compact disk.
# First, this information is published for your education and recreation.
# Second, the editor and contributors are amateurs and hobbyists, not engineers.
# Third, we make no guaranty or warranty as to the information contained herein.
# Fourth, building a real balloon literally means taking your life into your hands.
# Fifth, if you get hurt, or worse, do not blame me (us).
# Sixth, balloons are aircraft so pilot and aircraft certifications may be required.
# Seventh, you and no one else are responsible, period.
Pretty standard at first glance - the same thing you'd see on a toaster. But look again because here's what it says: "This is really dangerous. We are selling you plans on how to build it, but we are in no way qualified to do that. Although we hold ourselves out as experts and are trying to sell our product to you, we are not even sure if flying a hot air balloon requires a license. Please do some research on that and get back to us. Further, don't sue us when you die."
We're not engineers, like the ones who are supposed to design hot air balloons, but we did come up with the above calculations...
14. The Art of the Catapult: Build Greek Ballistae, Roman Onagers, English Trebuchets, and More Ancient Artillery (Paperback)
Published, but without my photoshop:
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